Depending on your situation, a divorce can be one of the most traumatic events of your life. However, it’s important that you keep in mind that your reasons for wanting a divorce are important. Divorce happens to marriages that suffer from incompatibility, resentment, betrayal, and other afflictions that cross your boundaries. As a father, you have to prioritize your kids while also focusing on the future. A Kansas divorce lawyer can help you figure things out.

The divorce process can often be grueling, overwhelming, and unpredictable, especially when there are children involved. You ultimately want to do what’s right for your kids, and that can include trying to shield them from the darker elements of the divorce. If your divorce was the result of your partner’s infidelity, that might not be something you want your kids to know, at least not right now. It all starts with finding a good lawyer.

Finding a Good Lawyer

Throughout this ordeal, it’s vital that you surround yourself with as much support as possible, starting with an experienced and accomplished divorce lawyer who can take control of your case and make sure you don’t make any costly mistakes. The right lawyer’s help can make quite a difference. You’ll want someone well-versed in Kansas divorce laws. At Stange Law Firm, our multi-state legal team can bring a focused approach to your case and assist you throughout.

You may want to take some time to understand your state’s marriage and divorce rates as they apply to you. This information can make you feel validated in your decision to divorce. According to recent data from the CDC, the divorce rate in Kansas is quite low at 1.7 per 1,000 residents as of 2023. The marriage rate is low as well, at 5.3 per 1,000 residents as of 2023, according to the Kansas Department of Health and Environment.

Finding a safe space to vent your frustrations or talk about your concerns can be difficult. The strain on your mental health that this may be causing could be significant, and you can’t be a present parent without first taking care of yourself. You can reach out to a divorce support group in the area, such as DivorceCare, or one that focuses on men and/or fathers like Men’s Separated/Divorced Group. Having someone to talk to can sometimes be all you need.

Moving On From Divorce as a Father

There may be many significant reasons to end your marriage, but none of them involve abandoning your kids. Everyone’s divorce experience is going to look different, especially if the focal point of your divorce is a custody battle. Healing from all this will take time, and it can’t be forced. One thing you may want to do is focus largely on the future and make plans for what you can do when this is all over. Here are some positive elements you can start looking forward to:

  • It sometimes takes a traumatic life event to help you learn who you really are. Divorce can set you on a path of self-discovery that may include being a more present parent and doing more for your kids than you may have done in the past when you were one part of a family unit. Take some time to reflect on what caused your marriage to fail, and be more aware of those issues in future relationships. 
  • Once the custody agreement has been decided on and a parenting plan is in place, you can shift your focus to your children. You will likely have to co-parent with your ex, but that relationship needs only to be civil at most going forward. Plan outings with your kids, be a consistent presence for them, and give them space to come to you with their concerns. You can’t force their healing any more than you can force your own.

FAQs

Q: How Is Alimony Determined in a Kansas Divorce?

A: Alimony is not a guarantee in every Kansas divorce. Alimony, or spousal support, is only given when there is a significant economic imbalance between spouses. The court will award an amount in alimony that it feels is equitable. The judge considers the length of the marriage, each spouse’s current financial position, and each spouse’s contributions to the marriage. Once the lower-earning spouse is self-supporting, alimony may end or at least be lessened.

Q: Can a Divorce Improve My Relationship With My Kids?

A: Yes, it may be possible for a divorce to improve your relationship with your kids. After a divorce, you are no longer responsible for your spouse’s well-being. You can focus your energies entirely on being a good father. This can lead to you spending more time with your kids than you have in the past, and opening up to them in ways you haven’t before. This can then help them trust you more, which leads to them opening up to you. 

Q: When Should I Consider Dating?

A: That’s entirely up to you. Only you know when you are completely healed from your divorce and ready to start moving on. Keep in mind that there is no set schedule for healing from a divorce. Everyone moves on at a different pace. Some people may be ready to jump into dating before the divorce is even finalized. For others, it might take years to heal. Before dating, you should sit down with your kids and make it clear you’re not trying to replace their other parent.

Q: Do I Need a Divorce Lawyer?

A: Yes, you need a divorce lawyer. Every divorce is different, and it can be difficult to figure out the exact trajectory of yours before it really begins. You may have setbacks, emotional moments, complications, and more. A good lawyer can help you handle all of these potential issues while also protecting your interests and ensuring nobody takes advantage of you.

Reach Out Today

At Stange Law Firm, we can make sure your kids remain your top priority while also helping you get through your divorce relatively unscathed. Contact us to speak to a member of our team.