There are many reasons someone might get divorced, but one of the most common and most heartbreaking is infidelity. Many marriages won’t survive infidelity simply because the betrayed spouse is unable to get over the betrayal, which is understandable. As a father, you may particularly struggle with the consequences of your spouse’s infidelity, as you may be reluctant to break up the family unit. A Kansas divorce lawyer can help you figure out a path forward.

When you find out your spouse has been unfaithful, it can mess with your entire worldview. Everything you thought you knew about your spouse and your marriage may no longer make sense, and you may be looking for any evidence that your spouse has done this before. Throughout it all, it’s critical that you don’t lose sight of what’s really important here, and that’s your children’s welfare. It’s okay to feel betrayed, but you still must be a present parent.

Hiring the Right Divorce Lawyer

One of the most important decisions you make during your divorce is hiring the right lawyer. You want to make sure you get someone with experience handling divorce cases that involve infidelity. While infidelity may not directly affect the outcome of your divorce in a no-fault state, it’s still vital that you collect evidence. At Stange Law Firm, our multi-state legal team can provide you with an empathetic and personal approach to finalizing your divorce.

Infidelity can cause you to become paranoid, insecure, and confused. Recognizing divorce and marriage rates in your state can help you feel less alone about your decision to end your marriage. According to data gathered by the CDC, the divorce rate in Kansas is actually one of the lowest in the country at 1.9 per 1,000 residents as of 2022. 

The marriage rate is also quite low at 5.3 per 1,000 residents as of 2023, according to the Kansas Department of Health and Environment. Surviving infidelity can be hard to do, especially if your spouse is remorseless and cold, which can happen. It’s important that you take care of your own mental health needs first, or you won’t be able to be there the right way for your kids. 

You may want to consider joining an infidelity survivors’ support group like CheatingSupport or Infidelity Survivors Anonymous (ISA). Talking to people who have been in your shoes can be healing and beneficial to your mental health.

Moving Past Infidelity as a Father

Coping with divorce is rarely easy, especially as a father who may be forced to co-parent with someone you no longer trust or even like. Still, you have to figure out a way to accept your new reality for the sake of your kids’ well-being. Remember, they are going to be just as confused and angry as you are, even if they don’t know about the infidelity. You may never truly heal from such a strong boundary violation, but you should try. Here are some ways to move past it:

  • At some point, you may want to consider telling your kids about the infidelity. It’s up to you to decide just how honest you want to be with them about what you’ve been through. If they are young, you may want to omit certain details and just focus on what life may look like going forward. As hard as it may be to do, don’t speak ill of their other parent. That may give the parent a chance to take you to court for parental alienation.
  • You should also seriously consider surrounding yourself with as much emotional and familial support as you can get. You may know lots of people who only want to see you succeed. Take comfort in your family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and more. This may be a good chance to reconnect with old friends you may have lost touch with since getting married. You can never have too much support, especially now.

FAQs

Q: Is It Possible for a Marriage to Survive Infidelity?

A: There’s no telling if a marriage is strong enough to survive infidelity. For many people, infidelity is the ultimate dealbreaker in a marriage, which is perfectly understandable. Moving past such a blatant betrayal of your boundaries may be too much to ask for. If both partners are dedicated to working through it and healing from it, it may be possible to survive infidelity. However, that may not always be possible.

Q: Does Infidelity Affect a Kansas Divorce?

A: No, infidelity won’t affect the grounds for a Kansas divorce. In Kansas, you don’t need a reason to get divorced, since it’s a no-fault divorce state. However, when it comes to the actual proceedings, infidelity can impact certain elements. If it’s learned that your spouse was using marital funds to finance an affair, the court may award you a larger share of the marital estate to compensate, which can also impact alimony payments.

Q: How Can Infidelity Affect My Kids?

A: There are many ways that infidelity can affect your kids. They may feel a change in the household’s emotions. Children are often quite perceptive. They may notice that you and your partner are treating each other differently. Depending on the age of the kids, they may feel betrayed if they learn that their parents essentially broke up their family. You may want to consider therapy for your kids to help them process everything.

Q: Does a Divorce Lawyer Really Help?

A: Yes, a divorce lawyer really helps. In a contentious divorce, especially one where one spouse cheated, you never really know what could happen. The last thing you want is to be totally unprepared and on your own. It’s likely your spouse will have their own lawyer representing them. Having the right lawyer can change the entire outcome of your case. They can help you meet filing deadlines, protect your interests, and avoid embarrassing situations.

Contact Us Today

At Stange Law Firm, we understand how difficult it can be to learn that your spouse has been unfaithful. It’s reasonable to want to end your marriage. Contact us to speak to someone on our team who can help you work through your case.