Realizing your marriage is ending can be a very traumatic experience for you, especially if you have children. You may be unsure of how to break the news to them or even how to broach that topic in any way. It’s understandable to feel this way, but it’s something that must be done eventually. You don’t want to end up causing more emotional strife by waiting too long to say something. A Kansas divorce lawyer can help you prepare yourself and your kids.

As you navigate your divorce, you want to make decisions that will benefit your family in the long run. Generally, good marriages do not end in divorce. They go on forever. Marriages that end in divorce typically have a fundamental problem. Even if your divorce is uncontested or only occurred after years of a steady marriage, it’s still the result of two people realizing they aren’t actually right for each other. With kids in the mix, things get much more complicated.

How to Prepare for Divorce as a Father

According to information provided by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), the divorce rate in Kansas is among the lowest in the entire country. As of 2022, the divorce rate in Kansas was around 1.9 per 1,000 residents. The marriage rate, though, was around 5.3 per 1,000 residents, according to data provided by the Kansas Department of Health and Environment. Dealing with divorce can be a drain on your mental health. A local support group like DivorceCare can help.

There are many important things you can do to prepare yourself for divorce as a father. It truly begins with accepting that your marriage has ended, which can be the hardest part for many people. Then, you have to tell your kids that things are going to change for good.

In some cases, this might mean that they will no longer be living with you full-time. They might be going to a different school. They might not see their mom as much. It’s a very difficult conversation. Here are some tips on what comes next:

  • Gathering Records: When you decide to get divorced, it’s not as easy as signing your name on a piece of paper and moving on. You will need to completely untangle your life and your spouse’s life, which can be a difficult and prolonged process.

    You need to gather all of your financial records, important documents, and information about your child’s educational requirements. This will be beneficial to have later so that your divorce proceedings are not delayed due to insufficient documentation.

  • See a Divorce Lawyer: Every state in the country has its own specific divorce laws and legal requirements. Kansas is no exception. Before you file for divorce, you want to make sure you meet all of these requirements. An experienced divorce lawyer can explain your position and help you understand everything you need to do moving forward. This includes building a parenting plan and calculating child support payments.
  • Filing for Divorce: The actual filing of the paperwork may not take long, particularly if your divorce is uncontested. You and your spouse might even file the paperwork together. Your lawyer can help you navigate the legal process of separating from your spouse, especially if your divorce is contentious and needs to be decided by the court.
  • Moving Forward: Once the divorce is finalized legally, it’s important that you focus on adjusting to the new normal and being present for your children. It won’t be easy. You may still have some lingering resentment about the divorce, or you may be insecure about life as a single parent. In this difficult time, seek support from friends and family, and remind your kids that they can always talk to you about how they are feeling.

FAQs

Q: How Can a Divorce Lawyer Help Me?

A: There are many different ways that a divorce lawyer can help you, especially if you are headed for an emotional, painful, and unpredictable contested divorce. A good divorce lawyer’s primary goal is to ensure that you don’t get taken advantage of by your spouse or their legal team. Your lawyer should always have your interests in mind. They can give you advice, guide your case in the right direction, and make sure you emerge from this relatively unscathed.

Q: Are Assets Divided 50/50 in Kansas?

A: No, assets are not divided 50/50 in a Kansas divorce. Assets in a Kansas divorce are distributed using an equitable distribution model, which essentially makes sure that each spouse receives a fair share of the marital assets. However, fairness and equality don’t always mean the same things. To determine your share, the court must consider certain contributing factors, such as the length of the marriage and each spouse’s contributions towards it.

Q: Does the Mother Automatically Get Full Custody in a Kansas Divorce?

A: No, the mother does not automatically get full custody in a Kansas divorce. In Kansas, each parent is considered an equal partner when it comes to raising their child. It’s impossible to automatically know which parent will get custody before divorce proceedings begin. The court is mandated to do what is right for the child, and that may include ignoring each parent’s custody requests. The court will choose the most financially and emotionally stable parent or order joint custody.

Q: Is a Divorce Really Worth the Hassle?

A: That’s a question only you can answer. You know your own limitations, and you must be the one to take control of your own life. If you feel that all love and trust has been drained from your marriage, you should seriously consider divorce. While divorces can be complex, emotional, and financially draining, you may benefit overall from choosing your own happiness and the long-term happiness of your kids. Staying in a loveless marriage could harm them.

Reach Out to an Experienced Divorce Lawyer

Going through a divorce is going to be hard on you, but it may be even harder on your kids. You need to prepare yourself for your divorce so you can refocus your energy on your kids. A good lawyer can help you do that.

The legal team at Stange Law Firm understands what you will need to succeed in your divorce. Contact us to speak to a member of our team and schedule a consultation.