The unpleasant novelty

For a great number of people, divorce is a novel experience. They have never experienced anything like it. And that may not be a good thing. Divorce is many things, both an emotional rollercoaster and a technical legal procedure.

Knowledge is power and the better you understand the technical aspects of a divorce and what it actually does and means for the rest of your life, the better prepared you will be to work with your attorney.

One thing to remember is that a divorce agreement is a legally enforceable contract. This is not some vague agreement like an after-school carpool arrangement with some of the parents whose children are also in after-school activities with your child.

This means you need to understand exactly how your parenting plan will work and what the terms of your property division mean. If you keep the family home, will you be able to refinance the mortgage, pay the insurance and cover the upkeep and maintenance costs on your own?

If you need to make changes to your child custody agreement or visitation schedule, you will need a court-approved order instituting the change. And that will cost additional money. This is why you want an agreement that will work for the long-term. To get that type of an agreement, you have to look at your future and realistically examine every element and then work with your attorney to craft the agreement that will work in that future.

You will have to do your homework in order to understand all of these elements, and your attorney can help, but you have to truly understand the concepts and how they will function in practice.

If you do that, your divorce settlement will be an agreement you can live with.

Source:, “What I Regret About My Divorce (It Isn’t What You Think),” Al Corona, April 26, 2016

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