Does thinking about divorce lead to divorce?

Modern physics teaches that the presence of an observer potentially changes the outcome of an experiment. Some seem to feel that a similar situation exists with regard to the potential for divorce. There is a view that believes that if you think about divorce, discuss it with your spouse or friends that it will, like a contagion, begin to spread and that you will then have an urge to file one of your own.

While it is possible that some people will be that sensitive to the power of suggestion, it is likely with most, there were issues present in their marriage that triggered their thoughts of divorce, which then became actions to bring about a divorce.

Because of the very wide range of potential causes for a marriage dissolution, which cover the spectrum from drug and alcohol abuse and domestic violence, to aging out of your marriage and no longer having much in common with your spouse, an individual’s thoughts on divorce can be equally broad.

A recent study attempted to quantify how people think about divorce and the effects of those thoughts. It found that there are basically two types who are contemplating divorce, soft thinkers and serious thinkers. Remarkably, they make an almost even split, with 53 percent falling into the category of soft thinkers and 47 percent were found to be serious thinkers.

The researchers noted the “soft” thinkers were not trivial in their thinking, but tended to have less severe issues in their marriage and spent less time thinking about divorce. The serious thinkers tended to have serious problems, with 32 percent stating they had “hard” problems and 38 percent reporting they were “not hopeful,” regarding their marriage.

The study found that overall, about 30 percent of married couples surveyed had had some type of divorce ideation. While those thinking about divorce were about evenly split between men and women, women were much more likely to act and actually file for divorce. (cont.)

Source:, “What are they thinking?” Alan J. Hawkins, 2015

Related Posts