Should you stay together for the kids? Not necessarily: Part I

Divorce has become commonplace in the United States, but that doesn’t mean it has become easy – either logistically or emotionally. In fact, many couples struggle with doubts about whether they are doing the right thing by getting divorced, especially if they have children.

This has caused many couples to make a very difficult choice: Do we get divorced or do we stay together for the sake of the children? In this week’s posts, we’ll examine why staying together for the kids often ends up making everyone less happy – including the children.

The Huffington Post happened to have two posts about this topic recently; both were penned by authors who had opposite childhood experiences but drew the same conclusion. The first article was written by a man named Joe DeProspero. He says that his parents stayed together supposedly for the sake of him and his sister. They ended up separating when he was 20 and getting divorced sometime after that.

DeProspero notes that his parents lived under the same roof but led completely separate lives. As such, many of his memories involve his parents regarding one another with “days of silence, bitter arguments” or simply ignoring one another.

When his parents finally separated and then divorced, Prospero says, he actually felt relieved. He also noticed his parents both seemed happier and more personally fulfilled after getting divorced. He writes: “I only wish my existence hadn’t indirectly prevented that happiness for so many years.”

Please check back later this week as we discuss an article written by a woman whose parents got divorced when she was a teenager. She says she’s grateful that her parents made this difficult decision and notes that she is not a “child of divorce” in the sense that most people assume.

Source: The Huffington Post, “The Problem With Staying Together For The Kids,” Joe DeProspero, Oct. 29, 2014

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