Is a prenuptial agreement in your future? How to have ‘the talk’

If you’re getting married and are old enough to have acquired any personal assets – which is basically anyone in their mid-20s and beyond – chances are good that a prenuptial agreement would be right for you. These documents are no longer considered just for the wealthy, and more couples are using prenuptial agreements because -statistically speaking – divorce is a significant possibility.

That being said, prenuptial agreements can be a sensitive subject to broach with your betrothed. No one likes to think about getting divorced before they even get married. In today’s post, we’ll discuss how you can tactfully talk to your soon-to-be spouse about a prenup.

A recent news article featured an interview with a woman named Michele Lowrance, who wrote a book on modern marriage and divorce. She says that if you want to discuss a prenuptial agreement with your significant other without making them mad, defensive or suspicious, you need to be careful about how you phrase things. She recommends:

  • Saying something like “let’s talk about getting a prenup” as a way to demonstrate that it’s an actual conversation and not a command
  • Being straightforward about why you want the prenuptial agreement and what your divorce-related fears are
  • Using “I” statements when discussing the aforementioned reasons and fears
  • Remaining calm and showing active listening with your body language, especially if your significant other gets worked up by the conversation
  • Asking to postpone or reschedule the conversation if your significant other becomes angry or flustered

Remember that a prenuptial agreement is intended to protect both spouses in the event of divorce. It is not merely a way for the wealthier spouse to hold onto all of his or her assets. As such, the best way to discuss the idea of a prenup is to reassure your partner that it is intended to be mutually beneficial.

Once you and your spouse-to-be have decided on a prenuptial agreement or if you have more questions, contacting an experienced family law attorney is the next logical step.

Source: Business Insider, “How To Ask For A Prenup Without Causing A Breakup,” Libby Kane, Sept. 23, 2014

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