How communicating with your ex can be both civil and productive

One of the uncomfortable truths about getting a divorce is that in most cases, you will probably need to stay in touch with your ex-spouse even after the divorce is finalized. This is certainly true if you have children and share child custody.

The need for continued communication creates a difficult conundrum. On one hand, effective communication may be more important now than it ever was. On the other hand, it may seem impossible to see or speak with your ex-spouse without re-experiencing all of the negative feelings you felt leading up to the divorce. So what do you do?

There may be no perfect solution to this problem. However, two pieces of advice shared recently on the Huffington post are good tips to keep in mind: Keep your meetings short and on-topic.

If you need to meet with your ex-spouse about an issue related to your kids, set the meeting (including the meeting length) ahead of time, come prepared with your input and do your best to stay on topic. This means avoiding any discussion that is not related to the issue at hand. Rehashing old hurts and playing the blame game is almost certainly a waste of time and emotional energy.

Many relationship professionals could tell you that it is possible to develop a cordial, businesslike relationship with your ex-spouse and co-parent. It may take a lot of work to set aside your hurt feelings, but the end result will likley be a lot more productive and pleasant for the entire family.

Source: The Huffington Post, “How to Have a Friendly Meeting with Your Ex,” Sheila Blagg, Sept. 2, 2014

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