Divorce prep 101: Find a good attorney and brace for impact

The time between filing for divorce and finalizing it can be a few months or a few years. While the timeline itself is uncertain, this is just one of many uncertainties you will face. That’s one reason why divorce is so stressful.

In order to maintain your sanity and preserve your emotional/psychological wellbeing, it is important to find coping strategies. In today’s post we’ll talk about two. The first is to expect and mentally prepare for the unexpected. The second is to invest in people you can trust and depend on, particularly your family law attorney.

At one time, your spouse was probably your closest friend and confidant. But during divorce, he or she may turn into someone or behave in ways that are unfamiliar and unrecognizable. These changes are often fueled by anger, hurt and a misguided attempt at self-preservation and protection.

Expecting the unexpected means preparing yourself for the possibility that your spouse (personally or through an attorney) could present you with difficult news at any point. Maybe your wife has decided that she wants alimony and a significant amount of child support. Maybe your husband has decided to pursue sole custody. Maybe the divorce filing includes false allegations of domestic violence or other damaging and untrue accusations against you.

It’s not a good idea to live in perpetual fear during divorce. But you should prep yourself for the possibility that your spouse could drop a bombshell of bad news on you.

For this and many other reasons, you should hire an attorney who you feel you can trust and rely on. It’s a good idea to meet with several potential attorneys and ask as many questions as you need in order to feel comfortable. But when all is said and done, you should not ignore your “gut” feelings about whether a particular attorney is right for you.

Your attorney will be your representative, your advocate and your greatest legal resource during a divorce or child custody battle. Therefore, he or she needs to be someone you can trust to understand and fight for your best interests – especially when unexpected news throws you into a panic.

Source: The Huffington Post, “My Wife Filed for Divorce! Now What?” Jackie Pilossoph, Aug. 15, 2014

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