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It’s normal for men to feel a loss after divorce

Divorce is an emotionally trying time for a man. After a divorce, men often feel a huge sense of loss, not only of their wives and families, but also of their sense of self. This in turn can lead to dangerous and destructive behaviors, which can harm them and have a serious impact on how the courts rule on child custody and visitation agreements.

When looking at how men are uniquely affected by divorce, a lot of it comes down to societal views. Not only do many men bind their ego into their marriage, but this also tends to be reinforced by society’s views of fatherhood, commitment and being the head of the house. This means that once a marriage ends, men often lose sense of their self-worth.

In turn, this loss leads many to destructive behaviors. Some take the road of throwing themselves into their work. Others turn to dating too quickly or using drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. All of these can have negative consequences, especially when it comes to substance abuse.

However, this is not to say all men are guaranteed to react the same way. Rather, men going through and recovering from a divorce can chose to take a different road and instead of trying to find temporary happiness, they can focus on building self-esteem and re-building their lives. This will ensure not only a better future after the divorce, but also helps to establish balance for children and sets a good example of how to deal with adversity in life.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Men After Divorce: Ego, Self Esteem, & Recovery,” Kyle Morrison, May 1, 2013

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