Single dads can adjust after divorce to be effective parents

For many Missouri fathers, adjusting to life after a divorce can be difficult. This is especially for dads who have to figure out how to connect with their kids if they have shared custody or perhaps only limited visitation rights.

It can be tempting for parents on either side of a divorce to try to influence the children to sympathize with their side; however, in the long run, it can backfire and lead to more trust and uncertainty. While it can be trying, there are some tips an expert recently offered that can help ease the transition to single parent.

  • Choose your battles wisely. It doesn’t make sense to fight over all the small things. If there are important issues you feel strongly about, prioritize them. Don’t argue just for the sake of having an argument.
  • Don’t speak ill of your ex to the kids. It’s not just younger kids who might feel guilty over a divorce that they might think is their fault. Even older kids can experience angst over issues like this.
  • Come together when necessary. Some big life events — graduations, religious confirmations, birthdays — might best be celebrated with both ex-spouses there. Remember, it’s about the kids, not about the parents.
  • Allow your ex to be involved. A perceived slight could originate from a lack of communication about almost anything. It’s better to nip controversies in the bud so they don’t fester and define your interactions as negative — both for yourself and for the children.

Source: The Huffington Post, “4 Ways To Co-Parent More Successfully After Divorce,” Rosalind Sedacca, April 20, 2013

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