Is your ex-wife using the kids against you in divorce?

A father who is going through a contentious child custody battle recently shared his story. Right now, while trying to obtain custodial rights, his ex-wife is also trying to up his child support payments. He claims that she’s even gone as far as to file a false child abuse report in order to try and get the upper hand in court.

Along with having to defend himself against these false allegations, he is also struggling as his ex-wife is reportedly using the couple’s son against him. As of now, his son does not return his phone calls or text messages, and the father is worried that the damage being done to their relationship will not be able to be repaired.

Sadly, this father is not alone, as there are plenty of other men who are in similar situations. However, what is important to remember is that the relationship can be repaired, and that it’s important to not give up.

When looking at ways to repair and strengthen the parent-child bond, you can approach the situation by incorporating three kinds of activities.

The first is to spend time with your child outside of the home. This could mean going to a movie, or playing games in the park. Additionally, to make your child realize that you still love and support them, make sure to also go to school plays, sporting events and other activities.

Play is also important. Of course, what this means is very dependent on the age of the child. For example, with younger kids playing with Legos or coloring together can be a good way to spend quality time. Additionally, since younger children have a harder time communicating their feelings, by incorporating play in your time together, you may end up learning more about what is going on in their head.

Lastly, remember that communication is very important. This means not forcing your child to talk about how they are feeling, but rather having that space for them to openly talk about their emotions in a way that feels comfortable to them.

In the end, just remember to not give up — both in terms of strengthening your relationship with your child — but also in maintaining your rights as a father.

Source: Huffington Post, “Don’t Divorce Your Kids,” Nancy Fagan, Feb. 2, 2012

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